Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
