hotel room ftw
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
