Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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