If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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