i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
