you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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