My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
