She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
