no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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