NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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