got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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