i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
