So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
