I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
