if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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