I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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