My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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