Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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