I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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