you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
