How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
