oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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