Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
