I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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