Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
