would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
