Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
