he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
