Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she smelled like a LAN party
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
