Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
