I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
