I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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