Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
