literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
