obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
