like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
P.S. I can't hear my feet
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
