Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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