Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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