In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
