Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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