Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
