I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
