Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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