Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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