I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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