dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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