would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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