porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
