cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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