I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
