Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
